(Open Journal Notes) - I don't even like him...

July 13, 2018

(Open Journal Notes) - I don't even like him...

eel“…..I don’t love Sumo, I don’t even LIKE Sumo”…..these were the exact words my nanny said to me a few days ago.

For those that may not know, Sumo is our 3 month old Chinese Shar-pei puppy that we’ve fallen in love with since the day we picked him up from the breeder….and long story short, I’m ‘traditionally’ a pet lover and voted ‘no’ on our family discussion about getting a dog.

Yes, I lost and yes, I gave in. Having a pet is good for our boys. It teaches them responsibility and compassion…both of which they are still learning at ages 8 and 11.

We’ve been blessed enough to have a nanny for nearly the past year. She does all the cooking and cleaning and it has been a real time-saver for me with all I have on my plate as a wife, mom, and heading two businesses (Natural Girls Rock and Coach Kelly J).

She works 5 days a week and really helps to keep our life in order. If you’re anything like me, I can’t be real friends with someone who washes, dries, and folds their clothes for the entire family all in ONE DAY. We just don’t have anything in common….lol!

But, I like my house to be spotless 98% of the time so hiring is a nanny was our best option.

She’s the second we’ve had over the pass several years. The first one was the absolute BEST. She worked with us and really became part of our family for 3 years, until we moved back to the States. That was when I still worked for the Department of Justice and was on an assignment at the American Embassy in Lima, Peru. (No more info there, if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you…lol).

Anywho, although our ‘current’ (up to 2 days ago) told me that she just couldn’t be around dogs because she terribly scared of them, I still thought things would be okay…Since we weren’t buying a vicious dog (by popular measure), like a pit bull, I felt certain that she would get use to Sumo once he was in the house for a while.

I mean, we put our deposit down to buy him before he was even born. Once he was born, the wonderful breeders sent us pictures and updates on his personality and progress each week and I included her on all of it.

Since she told me she scared of dogs, I made a conscious point to include her on the journey of getting to know and see him via the breeders weekly emails. So, when he finally arrived at the beginning of last month, I honestly thought she’d be fine.

Over the past month, she has not ‘acted’ scared of him and all, just not interested in being in his presence. It seemed a bit weird to me because she expressed her fear of dogs verbally but being in his physical presence did not exhibit ANY fear at all.

I’ve watched closely since the beginning to see how I can make the situation work for her and for us. I began to realize her fear of dogs is really a self-limited belief. When I asked her if she was once attacked by a dog of if something happened in her past with a dog she simply said “I didn’t grow up with them and nobody in my family likes pets. I don’t love Sumo, I don’t even LIKE Sumo...I think you should find a nanny that loves pets, I don't and I just can't be around him...”…

I was absolutely FLOORED because it was at that moment I realized her mental state of mind is living (and operating) in the past. She’s 47 years old and the fact that she never had animals growing up has her truly believing that she can’t be in the presence of dog.

She, in essence, is operating on a perceived emotion that she's scared. She is allowing her emotions to take her to a place of fear.

When we permit ourselves to allow the past to dictate our future, we are operating in a dangerous place. It can really stifle our growth….and as the saying goes “if you’re not growing, you’re dying…”

In essence, her belief system in who and how pets are was built on the emotional state of being and pulling from the fact that they didn't have pets growing up. She has allowed that to grow over the years into a fear of pets.

If you see her and Sumo in the same room, you can clearly see that she’s not scared of him at all. It’s her BELIEF and stigma she placed on having a pet that is the problem.

Her state of mind, coupled with her emotions = perceived emotions = irrational decisions = no job.

So, is there something that happened if YOUR life in the past that you’re allowing to hold you back?

Look at the facts of the matter and ask yourself if the place you’re pulling your emotions from is a fact or a perceive set of circumstances.

Just think about that for a minute….

What are you STILL mad at that happened eons ago??

Is there something that you ‘feel’ you have a fear of that you can take a moment to really dig deep and validate tor DISMISS that fear?

WHAT IF you discover that fear has been invalidated nonsense all this time?

Who can you become NOW without that fear??

What has that fear kept you from accomplishing in life?

You can set yourself FREE…..do it now, do it for YOU….do it for your future generation. Don’t allow a belief from your childhood or past to dictate how you carryout your future.

Have a great night RockStars!

Kelly J

P.S. The photo show is of us when we drove 3 hours to pick Sumo up from the breeder last month.

If this email helped you realized you may fear something that is based on a perceived emotion of the past, feel free to post it below...as it may help someone else overcome their fears. 

 





Leave a comment